Learning to Let Go: The Courage to Choose Yourself First
- Northern Light Lotus
- Jan 23
- 5 min read
✨ Welcome to Your Cozy Nighttime Check-In! ✨
Hi, I’m Laura—a psychic medium, astrologer, and guide walking this journey of life right alongside you. Tonight, I felt called to share a quick blog post on something we all face at some point: the struggle of letting go.
This isn’t about having it all figured out—trust me, I’m still learning, too. But I want to offer some thoughts and insights on why it’s so hard to leave unhealthy relationships, what holds us back, and how we can begin taking small steps to reclaim our power and focus on us.
Let’s reflect together, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll find a little clarity, compassion, and courage to keep moving forward. 🌙 ✨
Recently, I’ve been saving a lot of quotes I stumble upon on Facebook, and one in particular stopped me in my tracks.
“Respect yourself enough to let go of someone who doesn’t see your worth.”
A powerful reminder, isn’t it? But what happens when you know your worth, you see the unhealthy dynamics, yet leaving still feels impossible?
Maybe you’re afraid of being alone. Maybe you’re financially tied to them, or a part of you still hopes they’ll change. These reasons—and so many others—can create an invisible wall between you and the life you truly deserve.
And don’t think I’m saying this because I have it all figured out. I’m learning, too. Each day, I’m working through my own walls, peeling back the layers, and trying to do better. Growth is messy, but it’s worth it.
If you’re feeling stuck, know this: you’re not alone.
Here are some common reasons why it feels so hard to leave—and how to begin moving forward:
1. Low Self-Esteem: You may feel unworthy of better treatment.
➡️ Solution: Build self-esteem through therapy, affirmations, and support from loved ones.
2. Fear of Being Alone: Loneliness feels scarier than staying.
➡️ Solution: Strengthen your relationship with yourself—try hobbies, join groups, and foster new connections.
3. Financial Dependence: Money keeps you stuck.
➡️ Solution: Seek resources like financial aid, housing programs, and discreetly save when possible.
4. Hope for Change: You’re waiting for your partner to change.
➡️ Solution: Focus on patterns, not promises. Change must come from them, not your efforts.
5. Trauma Bonds: Emotional ties make it feel impossible to leave.
➡️ Solution: Work with a therapist to break the cycle and redefine love versus attachment.
6. Social Pressures: Fear of judgment or stigma holds you back.
➡️ Solution: Prioritize your well-being. Find a supportive community and set boundaries with others.
7. Normalizing Unhealthy Behavior: It might feel “normal” due to past experiences.
➡️ Solution: Educate yourself on healthy relationships and reflect on what you deserve.
8. Fear of Escalation: You’re afraid leaving will make things worse.
➡️ Solution: Create a safety plan, secure key documents, and connect with domestic violence resources.
9. Guilt and Self-Blame: You feel like it’s your fault.
➡️ Solution: Understand manipulation isn’t your fault. Therapy and self-compassion can help you heal.
10. Learned Helplessness: You feel powerless to change your situation.
➡️ Solution: Take small steps, celebrate progress, and work with a therapist or support group to rebuild confidence.
Recognizing the problem is the first step. Then, start taking small actions to build yourself up and focus on YOU—the only thing you can change. When the time feels right, you’ll make your move. You’ll know when you’re ready. 💛
The transformation that unfolds when you choose yourself is undeniable. ❤️
Here’s what becomes possible:
1. You Start to Feel Empowered
Choosing yourself is a radical act of self-love. You realize that your needs, feelings, and dreams matter, and that alone can reignite a sense of inner strength and empowerment.
2. You Set Boundaries That Honor Your Worth
When you choose yourself, you naturally stop tolerating what no longer aligns with your peace. You create boundaries—not out of anger, but out of self-respect.
3. You Break Cycles That Keep You Stuck
Choosing yourself allows you to step out of old patterns that no longer serve you. It’s a chance to rewrite the narrative and create space for new, healthy experiences.
4. You Learn to Trust Your Inner Voice
No more looking for validation outside of yourself. When you choose yourself, you begin to trust your intuition and feel more confident in the decisions you make.
5. You Heal and Grow
Choosing yourself is a declaration that your healing matters. It gives you permission to focus on your growth, shed old wounds, and create the life you truly deserve.
6. You Attract Healthier Relationships
As you choose yourself, you align with people who respect your worth. The relationships that stay or come into your life reflect the love and care you’ve given yourself.
7. You Realize You’re Never Truly Alone
Choosing yourself helps you find comfort within your own company. You start to build a relationship with yourself that feels fulfilling and whole.
8. You Reclaim Your Power
No longer tied to someone else’s expectations or validation, you step into the fullness of who you are, rediscovering the light and power you’ve had all along.
Choosing yourself isn’t easy, especially if you’ve been taught to prioritize others over your own needs. But every step you take toward yourself is a step toward the freedom, peace, and joy you deserve.
What happens when you choose yourself? You create a life where you are the center, and that’s exactly where you belong. 💛
Spirit’s Message: An Oracle Card Pulled for Those Reading Tonight
This blog is about Learning to Let Go: The Courage to Choose Yourself First. Letting go is hard—sometimes it feels impossible. But tonight, I want to encourage you to free yourself from the pressure of making any immediate choice. Instead, let Spirit’s message guide you:
I pulled the card “Between Worlds” a card from Colette Baron-Reid’s Wisdom of the Oracle Divination Cards. This card reflects the space between what was and what will be—a period of transition and self-discovery. Spirit is reminding you that relationships are mirrors, offering insight into who you are and what you truly need.
Right now, you’re being invited to explore without assumptions or the need for certainty. You may not yet know if this connection will last or where it’s leading, but that’s not the point. Instead, focus on what this relationship is teaching you—your boundaries, your desires, and your values.
Let go of the need for guarantees, and trust that the lessons unfolding now are shaping the love and life you’re meant to experience. This in-between space is uncomfortable, yet it’s a powerful time for growth, clarity, and choosing yourself.
Spirit reminds you to stay curious and open—the love you seek will come from embracing this process, not rushing it. 🌙
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Tonight, I’m holding space for all of us walking this path—whether you’re just starting to recognize the walls or already taking small steps toward freedom. You’re not alone. We’re learning and growing together, one step at a time. 🌙
Thank you for spending this time with me and allowing me to share these reflections. Remember, recognizing the walls is the first step, and the universe and Spirit are always cheering you on as you take each small, brave action toward freedom and healing.
With love and light,
Laura
Northern Light Lotus ✨
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